悲伤者的慰藉
（中英对照）
羊 子
前几天，中国人权主席刘青先生电话里告诉我：王若望先生生前所有的医疗费用全免了。当时我正伏在老伴灵桌上凝思，忽听刘先生这一说，下意识地抬头凝视老伴遗像，止不住心潮起伏。
很快，我收到了从THE CITY OF
N.Y. HUMAN
RESOURCESADMINISTRATION寄至SUYING FENG FOR
RUOWANGWANG的信函。我请我的朋友兼老板LOTUS帮我确认内容。LOTUS说：“羊子，这是极大的好消息，王先生的一切医疗费用全免了。今后，情况会好起来的”。我止不住热泪盈眶。这泪，是辛酸的泪，苦涩的泪，也是因美国政府和人民的关怀而心生感激的泪。
痛失老伴，我真正痛不欲生。在那些令人几乎绝望的痛苦日子里，是祖国大陆的同胞，是同样流亡异域的同志，还有美国的朋友，向我伸出了温暖的手，抚慰我流血的伤口，熨烫我凄凉、冰冷的心房。他们洒向羊子尽是爱。我和若望都是是中国人。在这个时候，我祖国的当家人--中国政府又是如何态度呢？
中国外交部的一位发言人章启月对记者说：“据了解，王若望晚年生活非常贫困，无钱看病。我们希望美国有关部门能切实关心中国留美人员的权益。如果王若望先生在国内的话，他的癌症一定会提前发现，得到及时治疗的”。还说，“王若望晚年在美的境遇，是对那个自认为‘人权卫士’国家的最大讽刺”。真是亏她说得出口！一直口口声声说我们是敌对组织、敌对分子，千方百计打压、扼杀我们，怎么一下子呼吁美国政府关心起这些敌对分子的权益来了。假惺惺作态，莫此为甚！若望要还在大陆，不是还在你们的牢房里，就是已被你们折磨死了，还“及时治疗呢”！
中国民间有“七十不留宿，八十不留饭”之说，意思是七、八十岁的老人说不准什么时候就会出事，还是尽早让他回家才是。一位八十三岁的老人，流亡海外，患晚期肺癌，油枯灯尽，人生的道路已到了终点，自然想回家寿终正寝。可是，我们的政府却要他答允不许这样，不许那样，才准回家。这也太有悖于中华民族的传统习俗、传统道德、传统文化、传统人性了。你们为什么会如此不近情理？人都死了，你们还要在伤口上撒盐，说风凉话？！你们为什么专门跟我们小民百姓过不去，哪像一个大党大国的政府！我为若望哭，我更为生若望、养若望、害若望、赶若望的祖国哭。
若望病危时，住院既回天无力，就决定回家，用中药调理，希望能延长生命。美国医院有关部门主动安排“关怀小组”到家护理，让老伴安宁。当我们向“关怀小组”(Hospice)负责人介绍若望为追求中国民主自由奋斗一生的情况后，这位负责人在十分钟之内，决定立即派救护车送老伴到安宁病房(相当于上海的华东医院高干病房)，并宣布：以后的医疗、护理费用全免。这在中国可能么？这是否人道关怀？是否人权卫士？若望住院短短20天期间的治疗、护理费用在五万余美元，除了前期的一部分费用是中国人权承办解决外，美国医院没有要我一分钱，全部免了。我们是高龄来美，对美国并无贡献，却享受纳税人的慷慨。我，充满敬谢！
我还要感谢民运人士和各界友人，他们纷纷解囊善捐，表现对老伴的敬爱。在此，我再次鸣谢各位的关爱，我将善用捐款，以慰亡灵，以报众心。我想在感谢慷慨捐助的民运朋友的同时，表达老伴的遗愿：希望你们像敬重老伴那样彼此敬重，大家团结、凝聚一心。使祖国民主化，必须团结国人，依靠国人，依靠自己的力量，必须卧薪尝胆，必须刻苦自律，多做少说，言必信，行必果，舍此别无捷径。
Mourner’s Solace
By Yang Zi
Translated By Chao Silvia Y.
A few days ago, Mr. Liu Qing, chairman of
Chinese Human Rights Council,
told me on the
phone that all the medical expenses of my husband, Mr.
Ruowang Wang, had been waived. I was
lost in contemplation in front of
Ruowang’s rite table at the moment. On hearing this, I intuitively raised
my eye
towards Ruowang’s final picture --- waves of emotion
stirred in
me.Very soon I received a letter from “the City of
Administration”, addressed to “Suying
Feng for Ruowang Wang”.
Lotus, my friend and boss, helped me with the letter. “Yangzi,”
Lotus said, “Here some really great news. All the medical expense for Mr. Wang
has been waived. From now on, things will be better.” I could not help but dissolve
in tears. These are the tears of poignancy and bitterness, but also the tears
of gratefulness to the support we got from the American people and government.
Loss of Ruowang, my lifetime companion, was no less
than a deathblow to me. During the days of despondency, it was my countrymen
from the Mainland China, my fellow expatriates, and my American friends, who
extended their sympathetic hands towards me. They warmed my chilled heart, and
assuaged its bleeding wound. I was showered with their infinite love.
Ruowang and I are both Chinese. However, at such a moment what
do we get
from the master
of my own country --- the Chinese government?
Here is what Ms.
Zhang Qiyue, the spokeswoman of the Chinese Foreign
Affairs Department, told the reporter: “To our knowledge,
Mr. Wang Ruowang was living in extreme poverty during
his late years, and could not even afford the medical expenses. We hope that
American government could pay genuine attention to the welfare of overseas
Chinese. If Mr. Wang had lived in
She added, “Mr.
Wang’s wretched experience comes as the biggest
irony against
the country that always proclaims itself as ‘the Guardian of Human Rights’”.
Shame on her for such utterance! The same people who had constantly accused us
of dissenting activities, and tried every means of suppression, was now calling
up the American government for the welfare of these very reactionaries. What unabashed hypocrisy! If Ruowang had lived in the Mainland, he would have ended up
imprisoned and tortured a long time ago. Not even mentioning the “timely
treatment”.
An ancient
Chinese proverb says “If he is seventy, don’t let him
sleep over; if
he is eighty, don’t keep him for dinner”, which means
don't keep old people away from their home long because accidents
could
happen at any
time at such an old age. Ruowang was an exile,
exhausted old man of eighty-three. It was natural that during the last days of
his life when he was suffering from the late kidney cancer, he had yearned to
go back to
Where lies the dignity of a
great country and a major party that rejoices in wronging its common
people? I cry for Ruowang, and I cry more for the
country that birthed him, nurtured him, yet persecuted him, and expelled
him. Ruowang was critically ill when we realized that his
disease was beyond cure even in the hospital and decided to go back home in the
hope of prolonging his days with Chinese medicine. The hospital authority went
out their way to send hospice to our home in order to give him better care.
When we
told the hospice supervisor about Ruowang’s life-long
struggle for Chinese democracy, in only ten minutes, he made the decision
that Ruowang be sent to the special sickroom (tantamount to the
sickrooms
reserved for senior officials in Chinese hospitals) and announced the waiver of
all our medical and care expenses. Could this possibly happen in
Isn’t this humanistic concern? Aren’t these people the
guardians of human rights?
For merely
twenty days’ stay in hospital, Ruowang’s medical
expenses amounted to $50,000, the initial part of which was paid by the
Chinese human rights council, and for the later part, the
hospital never
billed us for
even one penny. Ruowang and I came to the
Here I want to
thank you once again for your love and support. I will put your donations to
favorable use, which I hope will express my condolence to the dead, and
gratitude to the living. In the meanwhile, I also want to make known Ruowang’s final wish: he hoped that we overseas Chinese
democrats would respect each other like we have respected him, and join each
other in advocacy of